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Well friends, the time is finally upon us, when this great story of unrivalled greatness is put togheter in a single post. A full 100 pages it lasted, 100 pages full of incredible story twists, gut turning excitement and mindblowing jokes, until the evil administrator Messalla Corvinus came along and destroyed it for no good reason. For this appaling act Messalla was condemned to the back-breaking work of compiling the entire story in a single post, but he obviously ignored this condemnation. So instead, I, the good guy, had to work for several hours to do it for him. Oh pity me! Anyway, I´m afraid I don´t have the time or patience to make it look like a real story, so it´ll just have to look this way.
It´s been 128 days since that dark, dark day when Messalla killed the thread, but at least a worthy monument has been erected to celebrate its glory. 128 days ago there truly occured the end of an era, the death of an epoc, the termination of a idea, the destruction of a way of life, the downfall of an civilization, the final day of the good old times, the last breath of the great generation, the closing of the greatest thread ever to have existed in any forum, any time, any universe, any alternate reality, any $%$# you can come up with! All hail the 5-story!!!! Hail!!!

Anyway, now that that´s over, feel free to close this at any time MC (not that I can stop you), but first make damn sure to read it all through! Which will probably take a couple of days, so by then there´ll be 10 pages full of spam hailing this wonderful thread. Anyway, strap on your seatbelts and get ready for the ride of yout life, ´cause here we go!

Once upon a time, in...
Athlone, there was an albino
who was a warrior monk.
This warrior monk liked games.
But his arch rival, the..
ugliest nun in the country...
decided to get revenge for
the episode so many years
when he bit her cat .
The ugliest nun in the
country used a mace to
smash her icecream tube closed.
It had a friend called
Bob the second ugliest nun
in the country. So they
shot her. There was a
inquisitor who decided to execute
some prisoners and take their
candy, because he liked strawberry-flavoured ice-cream.
He also liked to paint
all his servants blue. This
lead to his servants arrest
him and execute him. All
the sudden POPEMAN came and
executed a few people plus
exploded. His friend then shot
a lot of people


simply because he was a
wicked sick kind of weirdo
who people wanted to kill.
He decided to escape to
another country where he could
kill other weirdos who are
very very very very very
weird, and then he traveled
to somewhere else. Here, he
ate a bomb & exploded. So
his toe ended upin italy.
Obviously he wasn't too happy
when his head popped off
the shoulder of an Aboriginal.
He was so angry that
he dropped his hunting spear
which was foolish because a
marauding kangaroo kicked his a**
right into a wasps nest... (Post by Sensei!!)
Meanwhile in Winslow, Arizona, a
drunk cowboy was shooting chicken
noodle soup up his arm
while eating Kentucky Fried Chicken.
In the end he started 2
shoot it out his nose


and he made it ultimately
fly back into his mouth.
This greatly shocked a woman
who didn't care about noodle-soup
but only for french fries
from France. She was very
well aware of the tragedy
to the people of Winslow,
Arizona, this was party time.
At this party some people
played a three-word game
which produced a best-selling novel
and people made a song
about D*ck the Diseased Mule
which dominated the rock charts.
Then the singer left because
the kids had killed the
rest of the band. However
this upsetted a person who
had just bought concert tickets.
He tried to sell these
to a one-eared Dutch painter
who was rich and eccentric
and drank gallons of absinth.


Painting drunk was fun, he
created his greatest masterpiece when
ripped on Schlitz Malt Liquor
with his good friend Picasso
who had just finished Guernica.
The Dutch painter then went
to Rotterdam to watch an
extremly, little naughty piece of
cake. Unfortunately the train was
to red to stop skiing
into a tree! A big
band started playing march tunes
and when the tree fell
it killed all of them.
Meanwhile, the albino warrior monk
decided to visit his grandmother
before fighting his evil twin
sister. The grandmother lived in
a little castle in London;
his sister lived in Katmandu.
She gave him a magic
potion, made in Gaul, which
ripped out your heart and
caused him to get heart
attacks every ten minutes and

Therefore, when he was fighting
his evil twin sister, he
brought with him a claymore
and a Jarvik-7 artificial heart.
Then a vicious thunderstorm ended
the battle and the evil
twin sister swore to return.
But first she had to
Have a poo on the
loo. She returned and unleashed
the fury little hamster of
the chasm of eternal doom!
The hamster's psychic powers
were really quite pathetic. So
she threw him off the
tormented cliffs of burning pain!
But the cliffs suddenly crumbled
and then a helicopter arrived....
but back to the story;
the nuns killed the monk.
Thats it really, I supose.
the end of the story.

except I forgot one thing...
the hamster survived the fall
and became a famous moviestar!
whose name was Tom Cruise
who became a black whip
used by Indiana Jones. Then
when he woke up after
he was drunk last night
at his brother's wedding anniversary
he made a movie called
"the way to boil eggs"
which became the worst movie
that received the famed Oscar.
The story was about a
civil rights activist who insisted
of meeting with his fellows
to save a polar bear
and the First Amendment. This
came out to be dumb
to express his feelings for
Paris Hilton who had a
wonderful time in prison. She
decided to become a nun
because she wanted some missionary.
But during her mission she



went on Larry King Live
and declared she became orthodox.
Larry asked some tough questions.
"What is your I.Q., Paris?"
And Paris replied: "What queue?"
while she farted out loud.
"What was that?" inquired Larry
"That, my friend, was art...
and it will sell big!
Because the methane simply rocks!
Better quality then Russian gas!
And better than cheesed hamburgers!"
Meanwhile, outside the studio, demonstrators
were testing the quality of
Paris' overdeveloped 3-lobed brain when
sudddenly the police arrived. They
gasped out loud at her
very very weird abilty to
sing. We return now to
Paris, stating the importance of
being the capital of France.
And it is really quite
old. In fact, the Romans

established it as "imperial toilet"
but the Emperor Claudius went
completly insane on a holiday
and preferred Berlin for this
reason. But Berlin didn't exist,
so he shot himself dead
but then he was revived
not entirely sure how, but
we know that it was
a work of pure but
somewhat corrupted supernatural powers. These
flashes of brilliances proved his
evil plans to kill Oprah
Winfrey and take all her
used books from elementary school.
This was an act of
evil, but the Power Rangers
killed Sauron and went to
Endor to kill some ewoks
who put up a fight
against emperor Claudius the Lewd.
Meanwhile, in the imperial palace
was in truly chaotic ruin
After having been sacked by
a horde of violent screaming

flying monkeys who hate bananas.
Ewoks, those cunning rascals acted
like emos and cut themselves
to pieces in Julian style.
Luckily Han Solo and Chewbacca
drank a cup of tea
and ate some Chinese food
and couldn't *!+% for weeks
cause Chewbacca swallowed an umbrella
which Grievous was using for
reasons it is best not
used for. And then Skywalker
crapped all over the walls.
Then the ghost of Hannibal
stuck a cork in Skywalkers
so he could never see
The pee on his walls
or the great drop which
caused the horrible global warming
crisis which causes everything to
cool down because it was
opposites day which meant it
caused all of the ice

to fly off to the
distant planet known only as
Thorgar, the blooded one's domain
where all men of distant
minds do the same things.
As men with concentrated minds
crowded together to decide the
real origins of the Amazonians,
a boy suddenly entered the
local pub despite being underage
and got thrown out because
in fact, he was underage!
No matter how lame this
action was, a lawyer called
Jack defended it. Being a
generic lawyer type, he said:
"Coolicus is not much creative".
The trial judge was a
malicious woman who didn't want
to be in court as her
grandmother wanted her to be
taking care of some very

ugly faced children known as
Groblets. Groblets originated from Eastern
Mordor and were known for
their addiction of eating sushi.
The Groblets also had a
strange fetish for golden toilets
which were decorated with pretty
weird runes... This mystical toilet
had the power to destroy
everyone whose name began with
the letter "Q". But when
Darth Maul killed Jinn, the
people of that letter revolted
and killed the entire universe.
Fortunately, God had a Backup
and created men whose mission
was to sweep where no
strand of evil had touched
and bring cute and cuddly
pink dragons to earthsea for
the starving children of the
planet of the ape like
place. Meanwhile these dragons were

playing five-aside to stop
the 300 Spartans from coming
unarmoured and kick Jerxes' ass.
Then they discovered that Xerxes
was a giant transforming robot
and would kill them all.
Luckily for the Spartans, Hollywood
decided to make a movie
where the Spartans beat Xerxes
at chess. A spastic goat
with three legs came along
and fell over while eating
Jimmy the turnip, containing arsenic.
Its last words were: "Do
it! Come on! You can't!"
and with its last breath
it blew out a candle
made by trolls who dwelt
on the need to bath.
These trolls dwelt in a
sewer of viscous and repulsive
Karate champions such as Chuck
the great comedian and kalos

the incredible noob from Scotland.
"I'm gonna boff you man!" (hit)
said kalos after a punch
from the goat next door
Kalos grabbed a big club
and hit Ares who then
complained to Zeus. Zeus took
it as a joke and
threw a thunderbolt at Gandalf
who dodged it and said:
"That's the last time I
wanted pancakes, marmelade on it..! "
It was a strange coincidence
that right at this moment
pancakes were being made by
THE COOKIE MONSTER! This caused
crushing effects in cookie industry!
and got him arrested for
grand theft.however his lawyer
who had been abducted by
aliens couldnt defend him which
meant computer games ruined everything.
Meanwhile, Dunedain masters of Numenor
decided to sue CA for
making a great game which

was totally bug free. However,
underground mole people who kidnapped
small children for enslavement in
the Mines of Moria were
to blame for a technical
problem for a special limb
which Caesar had used to
pick his noble nose. Meanwhile,
someone else who was picking
little purple rocks from the
beach, in a place which
blind chameleons spend their retirement
in, had a weird experience:
to walk and chew gum!
There were also some people
who were being eaten by
giant red plastic forks from
Winslow, Arizona. The forks were
very dirty that they smelled
as pungent as my old
toilet brush which I used
to clean my armpits although
that hurt! We return now
to Celebrity Poker Showdown in
the great city of Glasgow

which was built by Dutch
sailors with Turkish origins. These
men then built a big ship
to house all paired animals,
seventeen Highlanders and a few
drunk women with alcohol and
a giant Cyborg named Charles.
They then named the ship
"itching monkey" and they sailed
and mercilessly slaughtered the antidisestablishmentarianists
who had the T-virus and
got executed by medieval executioner.
Full with remorse, he faithfully
downloaded porn for his son.
They wathced together, accompanied with
a box of Maryland cookies.
Then an evil moderator came
with a whip and a
seven scooped icecream. And he
decided to make a party,
but Alibaba was not invited!
and not Messala Corvinus either!
At the party meanwhile, there
was an enormous amount of



spammers, trolls and flamers who
had come there to create
a good blend of crunchy
moderator stew. They didn't know
it included Messalla! And they
consumed it but few suspected
the poisonous material in it!
They got what they deserved
but suspected foul play as
Beckham lost his temper from
another article in The Sun,
which was about him doing
a very very naughty thing:
picking his nose! Beckham sued
Ferguson for kicking a boot
down the drain of a
soccer field, waterlogging it unplayable!
In his defense, Ferguson claimed
the boot was guilty instead!
Although it's the same thing,
the judge ordered the jury
to go and buy snickers.
but they disagreed and sentenced
sipahi to 27 years community-service
as a toilet cleaner. And



during the 9th year, he
decided to rob a bank,
then Fort Knox with two
blind marines who kept clashing
with each other. The robbery
was planned very clumsily and
came under attention of the
Hungarian Police, who immediately decided
to call in winged hussars
and the Russian riot police.
With their shields and batons.
They encircled the enormous fort
of Minas Tirith while Spiderman
with Wolverine ventured to Osgiliath
on a gigantic turtle with
the Spice Girls and U2.
Their primary objective was to
lure out the extremly dangerous
Ali Baba and his fourty
pimps. Ali Baba had plans
to create an army of
undead ghouls with which he
decided to take control of
the minds of the people
which have 6 fingers on

each of their 5 & 1/2 limbs,
then giggled like a schoolgirl
and went to a Metallica,
where he set up a
C4 explosive system to blow
poser musicians off the stage.
He then quoted Julius Caesar:
"Alea iacta est!" and went
searching the meaning which was:
All your base are Belong
To Us! (wrong translation!) But
meanwhile jimmymccricket got caught snorting,
which was punishable by death.
He then got transfered to
to a dungeon with his
seven brothers and sisters and
a toothbrush, Ak-47, McGuiver,
and his dealer who he
had asked to bring a
minute wooden lock picker which
was called Sam and which
was friend of Frodo Baggins.
This mighty combination of items
was prefect for crusty jugglers

and veteran circus clowns. However
the sandwich had left the
path open for Ghengis (Chenggis) Khan
who had a very big leprechaun
as alternative mounts. With this
formidable army, the Mongol leader
broke his neck and died
but that didn't stop him
from completing his mission of
brushing his teeth every morning.
It was noticed that without
a brush and some toothpaste
he could clean his smelly
underwear from fungus between 5-8am.
For this he used a
scouring brush made of gold
and copper fused with indescribable
red vacuum cleaners on it.
With the Mongol horde in
in complete order and with
the Egyptians raising their armies
to before unknown levels of
evil swamp creatures intent on
robbing innocent merchants who were
going to sell peanuts at

the Man United-Chelsea match
which was staged at the
the Sir Winkle Smith Arena
which had an unusual amount
of ice-cream sellers who were
actually spies looking for information
about a very naughty little
hobbit eating a magical banana
which would create a mighty
storm which would wipe out
the whole Isle of Man.
Foreseeing this Noah built an
arc which had the ability
to sink everwhere. But Chelsea
with their vain manager Mourinho
and, of course, Roman Abromovich
,the guy with the money,



had bribed the referee to
let him try to play
a game of tic-tac
toe to which he had
been training for all his
goldfish to feed them through
the boots of Sir Alex-
ander Nevsky. This led to
crazy netizens on the forums
to start a fanatical cult,
the dot commers, to run
to the hills of the
Iron Maiden concert in Winslow
and wash the dishes immediately!
However in the eleventh hour
a giant panda named Lee
Wong Xiong Chang Ti Zua
began to speak in Turkish:
Salaam aleikum! Gromisötamatork isdenphis Techotoilböb!
But no one understood it.
So Lee went emo and
took some Turkish lessons from
the Sultanate of the grand

porte, also known as Ottomans.
There was a ship in
HongKong that was used for
storing a month's upkeep of
Wiener schnitzel, weed, weirdos, walruses
and other useless objects. However
from out of nowhere, an
unidentified flying object shot at
the local supermarket in the
morning which had albeit been
targeted before by an angry
hobbo named Charles van der
Clause who lived in the
slums of the great city
of Kelowna, Brithish Columbia. There
he practiced the rituals of.....................
of the Flying Spaghetti Monster
every morning before seven. This
lead to that he got
a job at Volksie's factory
making shoes and bad jokes
and poisonous Sacred Bandman sausages
with some Messalla Sauce on...

But not being a food company,
rather was a weapon factory
that produced a special kind
of toothbrush on purpose of
cleaning the insides of toilets
produced by Sipahi Ltd, Istanbul,
later to become a holding.
Contrary to beliefs, this brush
was very cheap and lasted
for one thousand brushes! Except
the last brush which kept
the one ring that could
be found in Rohan where
none except Sauron could strangely
solve a rubics cube! This
upset many people because they
preferred to play chess, which
was prohibited by a statute
which was made by Mr.Bean
who played a merry dictator
in the glorious nation of
the seven serpents in Lower
Glasgow, Scottland. This nation consisted

of one million drunk farmers
all keen to sell their
toothpicks for a low price.
The toothpick stock market had
crumbled under the repercussion of
the great toothpick war fought
between the Soviet Union and
Liechtenstein. The latter won because
its name is considerably longer
and of course also because
of their greater number of
mountains with trolls and goblins
which somehow obtained powerful magic,
with the sacrifice Messalla did...
Only time will tell why
Volksie's beard is ginger while
Messalla's temple's lighting is so
effective on Parallel Pain's concerns!
Meanwhile Volksie with his hair
scared some mares and dared
to use beer stained underwear
with lots of alibabas hair
from his head which had
been for a wash in

Liechtenstein effectively destroying Putin's huge
collection of model trains. Putin
then unleashed a series of
completely unexpected singing contests which
devastated the morale of the
other Eurovision song contest contestants:
Russia, Sweden, Turkey, Cyprus, GB...
Their singers terrorizedly run away
While Sipahi made up words
to make meaningfulness in 5
U.S states none of which
had poetic lyrics to counter
the ferocious singing of Shakira
who won the prize of
best cook in the world
and broke Aeraaa's spicy intentions
including a 12 inch pianist.
Shakira's world tour was a
new dawn in history because
never in the history of



Earth had a dog sung
such a song but without
any sense of rhythm or
rhyme and with this nonchalance
for french words adopted by
Michael Jackson. The latter married
Lindsay Lohan, however it lasted
for only a week because
Michael cheated her with her
X-men counterpart, Rogue, making things
far more complicated than anyone
had expected it to be.
After the divorce, Michael decided
he must take refuge from
the vile creature whose name
was Mephistopheles the two horned,
but whose real name is
John Smith, because John was
ashamed of his own surname
because his family never made
it to the Olympic Games
due to Michael's evil plans
of bombing siberia and kamchatka,
destroying any olympic training facilities
for the gold favoured Liechsteinians

Mephistopheles vowed a bloody death
but with Lucifer not giving
anything to his brother Diablo,
Santa got very annoyed and
put tarantulas in all the
christmas socks the devils had!
The devils then put coal
in Santas delicious fish soup
which in fact wasn't delicious
as it had poison which
caused Global Warming and killed
Santa's reindeer so when christmas
came all the little children
ate some spiced reindeer stew
which made them all overweight
except for one boy whose
mother ate all the stew
thus remaining skinny which resulted
that 2 million children in
fitness programs and one child
in Brazil were watching baseball.
This created a power vacum
which Satan exploited and assaulted

Malta and waited for reinforcements.
But Archangel Michael took Sicily
after a tense game of
poker with Brahman, Chuck Norris.
Now Satan's reinforcements were stopped
by Chuck Norris' roundhouse kick.
Chuck was sent to hospital
to see his little brother,
tin legged Timmy, who had
just been beaten up by
Satan's henchmen the mighty, ferocious
Vlad Tepes, who drank the
blood of Timmy's guardian Tyrael
before trying to break Timmy's
piggy bank and steal the
key to the bank of
BLOOD...or the Blood bank
which was located in Nicaragua.
Fortunately, Cupid stopped him with
stale fortune cookies that said

"janissary heavy infantry are overpowered",
which is total bull poo
because they are way overpowered.
This fact lead to the
end of industrial era and
started the era of mythology.
In it Heracles did something
which made his mummy very
moist and yet not decomposing.
This caused an outbreak of
war between valkyries and titans
which lasted the better half
of the era, and ended
with the collapse of the
Taj Mahal by fire giants!
After destroying Taj Mahal, the
demonic rabbit killed all of
King Arthur's men who had
been caught shoplifting gum at
the holy castle of AAAAAAARRRRGH.
Realising they were watching Monty-Python
they quickly followed brian to
the hospital, where they died
accidentaly due to Poseidon coming

with his trident and electric
torpedo which he aquired from
Triton Ltd, a famous nautical
communist ducks, who launched an
intercontinental ballistic rocket. This caused
terrible stomach upsets back in
Atlantis, so the Ancients decided
to abandon the city and
take refuge in a confined
bottle together with the genie
of Aladdins lamp and two
prize winning leeks from Rhodes.
Eating nothing but leeks however
seemed much unhealthy especially when
the leeks leaked a vile
acid substance. The Atlantians perished
when they found the antidote
to contain radiation which only
lead to the Atlantians overdosing
on spinach soup. Their farmers
blockaded all the roads because
so that only they could
plot to conquer the world
and end the reign of
prosperity and enlightment of their

glorious ancestors the mighty Chichimec
that brought demise upon Spain.
Chichimec had discovered a new
omnipotent technology that they stole
from their slain enemies. This
enabled them to chronoshift to
a new breed of warriors
called the knights of Ni.
They have the ability to
fight battles without actually being
awake. At the battle of
Pelennor fields, they first tested
their opponents' patience when they
brought out Britney Spears that
was but now is something
of an obese, sluggish and
sings ear-drum shattering songs.
With this terrible weapon they
sang merry songs about cheese
and started a political party
aimed at minorities such as
the beard-avatar users that
had plagued the forums since
yesterday. The steady increase in
defenestration rates caused mass hysteria

with the moderators and administrators
whose expertise in lemon polishing
was appalling. For some reason
a small rotund creature appeared
and then he promptly disappeared.
The creature is called Lann
Styke Gorbenhinny. This unusual name
is actually a powerful incantation
from the sacred language of
Yoruba. It roughly means "Brothers...
of true heavy metal". This
language was a rare dialect
in Nigeria. However with no
Nigerians eager to step forward
to the alleged piracy crimes
taking place on Lake Trasimene
Lann was able to cast
doubt upon the integrity of
the might of MedX the
annoying spammer who was going
to jump off of a
camel's back into a pile
of doggy poop with a
a knife in his back.
Meanwhile, in the rich city

there was a large bugle
with a large hole, that
pecked out MedEx's eyes. It
then apologised and returned the
eyes to MedEx. Messalla then
banned simon page for disobeying
him and insulting MedEx again
and again untill Simon could
only think of kicking a
turtle in the teeth once
because turtles kinda like that.
After they experienced that in
the new 5D graphics, the
little children all sang the
"wheels on the bus go..."
"...easy." and there was rejoice.
We will now return to
sport news. Manchester United won
a game which is strange
because they were playing croquet
and Manchester United don't play
with the royal family and
Donald Duck, world champion at
McDonalds in the Play Ground

only beaten once by Tombles
of the Dead and Dying
and the incredible horse archers
called 'the fluffy bunnies society'
which was centered around the
worship of Otto von Bismarck
the pedantic maniac of Gargrathyn
which is in Durham. When
Frank Cavanaugh heard about this
the world caved in, meaning
absolutely nothing for anyone except
Mr Bean, whose extreme sorrow
was suppressed by a thousand
teddy bears dressed in silk
brand soy milk. This infuriated
a couple of fully furnished
living rooms and triggered a
mass public riot in Dortmund,
meaning that afternoon tea became
a way of life for
CA Staff and family. But
when suddenly the tea price
dropped by half, everyone massacred
the coffee fans as usual.
But Starbucks hired 6000 gigantic

armoured rhinos to run around
Manhattan. This caused a big
diplomatic crisis between Denmark and
the glorious nation of Kazakhstan.
The crisis ended with WWVII,
In which brave Tahitian soldiers
prevailed by using powerful psychic
mangos and kiwis, carefully grown
with care not to do
anything to their naturally inherent
purple hair. But with the
dangerous fruit diseases omnipresent, the
Tahitians freedom was only saved
when Erwin Rommel, commanding an
armoured column of armadillos
accidentally released laughing gas, which
was really crying gas. Realizing
that his oven was on,
that heat-crying gas combination
made the Tahitians cry martini´s.
The mango harvest had failed
which left only one option:
Mass suicide. 46,000 knives were

issued to the masses who
were unwashed as always and
would do anything for a
cheap knockoff of cologne which
would mask their bodily odours
and make them appear very
hungry in the face of
Jesus Christ Superstar, the only
Superstar born in year 0.
Apart from Tommy Körberg, famous
hot dog eating champion. The
radioactive apples, however, just decided
to build a nuclear reactor
so they could produce crossbows.
However the supreme demigod reminded
the apples ultrinite-stringed crossbows
that their sons had lukemia
and had to eat lava
lamps made out of coconuts
to heal the deadly disease.
The plan failed, and everyone
involved in the Nuclear Reactor
Development of Racial Discrimination project
was killed. This reduced the

population of London as well
as causing an earthquake in
the middle of nowhere caused
by aforementioned hypothetically hilarious events.
Ghenghis Khan, laughing in his
ger ordered 1000 Mongol oaks
to eat some beans and
be forced to toot. Without
any artificial atrocities at all,
Bonfires burned brightly blue, blackening
cautious cats, causing countless conundrums.
Despite devious dames daring dauntless
entrepreneurs, every egghead entered Elysium.
Foods fighting for flies finished
gutting gearless Germanian gaming gardeners.
Having had heavy handbags, Harry
Imperiously impugned iberain infants in
Japanese jailors judging jarhead jumbos

Killing Keynesian kidnappers, Karl kept
laughing lightly, letting Laura leave
many Manchurian manhoods manually manufactured
nicely noted. Napoleon nimbly nosed
opulently over omens. On Olympus
patriotic pranksters pushed purple perambulators
quietly, quickly quelling questioning Quebecers
regarding real rumours rightly responded.
Spencerman, sounding somewhat silly, sought
to teach terrorists the tango.
Under ubiquitous unreal utility ultimatums
virile Venetian ventriloquists violently vowed
(with wonderfully wild, wavering wills).
Xanthippe's xenophobic Xanadu xylophone's xenomorphic
yapping, yellow yankees yelling "yahoo!",
Zoro zeroed Zoroastrians' zoomed zodiac
one light-year away from
two black holes which overlapped
and sang "Black hole sun"

the greatest hit in universe.
The fans of Zoro then
washed their underwear 3 times
for four dollars. Together with
five pairs of roman sandals,
and six ill-equipped pandas
seven soldiers in the PLA
marched for eight hours from
the 9th wonder of Kumla
until ten in the afternoon.
They then shot eleven eagles
with 12 orange apples painted
at Friday 13th of July.
Louis XIV, the Sun King
made fifteen hagiographers march for
sixteen days to catch a
mocking bird made from 17th
century glass. Eight teens then ()
decided to ruin 19 chessboards
cause of Messalla's 20 different
moods, of which the 21
rebel armies can't win even
a monopoly game painted yellow

by underpaid factory workers who
aren't human. Because King George
is actually a queen named
Gorege, who built a transdimentional
bridge to denmark. The Danish,
wearing titanium viking helmets and
pink and blue pyjamas decided
to have a sleep over
with a spanish vocabulary inside
a pot filled with marmelade.
Then the centurion shouted: "Hastati
should not be used for
playing dice. Meanwhile, the sleepover
was interupted by some gnomes
trying to bite Harry Potter
in places best left unnamed...
... such as the armpit and
hair follicles... So he cast
doubt on the integrity of
old leftover paper baskets created
by retarded frog fish that
could fly. Harry then took
his shovel and hit his
mother with it till she
could stand it no more
and reported him to the
RAF, resulting in a series
of heavy bombardments which caused
the U.S. to become wasteland,
full of fish and chips.
However with no potatoes left,
but plenty of beer/wine,
nobody complained. It was not
their prerogative right to initiate
global apocalypse, donuts are first
of all edible because they
are actually shortbread with holes
and without the shortbread, so
most folk were confused about
why fish and chicken do
taste so good deep fried,
so they dressed in blue
lederhosen, and danced all night
and made lots of noise.
The person next door called
Bob attacked a stray dog
because it wouldnt stop barking.
This caused major social unrest
as hundreds of cats protested
in 29th Century Yukon where

Nessie migrated after an embarassing
run in with her ex,
Godzilla. It chased after her
in an old bungie jumping
costume and finally caught up
with Michael Moore who was
573, due to an accident
in space that caused Steve
the ambulance man to contract
his philosophers stone rendering it
invalid for exportation to Japan
due to international copyright law
that lets you eat cheese
only on the subway tracks.
Basically, my water bucket relates
to the Colombian drug dealers
that eat small children alive,
and mesh them into drugs.
"That is horrible!", shouted a
paedophile called David, who then
visited a pencil factory, hoping
to meet the bucket and
ask why it was there
without a hall pass. Like
all other buckets, it answered

not, for it was inanimate
and also lacked a tongue
and vocal cords. A guard
was sent to deal with
insurgents in the abdomen that
caused minor floods during the
night of a thousand roosters,
when a large fern whistled
not, for ferns haven't lips,
because the magpies stole them
and created an anti-matter bomb!
Termites then created the biggest
shrine to the god telsketchendurgenhinny
who captured Jesus and Muhammad
the mobile phone salesmen. Interestingly,
they were both mute. Funny
leprechauns then danced around screaming
kids that just finished their
rivals off. A bloody mess
said Charles Dickens, -Indeed, said
his friend Attila the Hun.
Then, they went to Narnia
to have a chicken sandwich
which said to the Fuhrer:
"Wanna buy a watch, Squire?"

Then, I, the narrator, noticed
this story is nonsense, but
hey! Can you blame me?
Of course you can but
with no end in sight
it's better to take a
break, which is not possible...
since that's six words long
though Sipahi thought its 5
so Parallel Pain fixes it.
This was a great feat,
well.... more like a de-feat
of marrows in a tray
coupled with a bunch illiterate
turkeys. "Gobble gobble," said the
adicted spammer who´s name is
Beatrice, well known for amazing
ad-spamming, not even Microsoft
produce a TV show about.
Chickens that fly lemon drops
faster than fed-ex, honestly
doing their work, were hunted
by a squad of unemployed
angry moderators from TW forums,

the top mod amongst them.
Modsticks went flying, and the
Adminstrators got highly annoyed by
the lack of pictures of
the ongoing war in Indochina
which was caused by increasing
levels of brain activity in
Transylvania, but actually there was
no such thing as brains
because Cydonia forgot to input
anything and therefore will be
ignored until he does. Dinosaurs
ate sandwiches with Noah, thereby
increasing their chances of getting
onto the ark. These sandwiches
were made by a company
called the Umbrella Corporation, thus
making their beards fall out
due to unforseen side effects
of one ingredient known as
Gilette Shower Gel. Noah decided
to get drunk in the
afternoon. However, this didn't happen
since all the wine had

turned into fanta. Fanta, the
magical drink containing almost 75%
5M hydrofluoric acid and thyme,
which will burn away souls.
Soulless bodies then become vessels
in the royal navy, often
sunk by German U-boats in
pointless alien abductions, which Dönitz
refused to accept as ethical
marshmallows. Without any new souls
to work on V2 rockets, Rommel
went to a barn dance
where Göring stripped naked while
auditioning for 'Allo 'allo. Meanwhile
in Normandy, Operation Catamite worked
like milk in a television.
It missed all objectives but
that was alright, since nobody
read the Forum Rules anyway.
Thus, Nostradamus failed to predict
That his birthday was soon,
nearly 365 days away. This
led to fierce riots in
and outside the MI5 HQ
on Coruscant, but James Bond

died from food poisoning twice
but he has 9 lives
because he ate a magical
slug that contained the rare
cheese called 'y feni', made
from zirconium, the sad element.
The element was discovered by
Melancholy Michael of Tearful Terrace
5134 Street Rd North Northwest
in Milton Keynes, which meant
that he spoke Chinese fluently
but had trouble writing down
antidisestablishmentarianism, transubstantiational and 'he'. Then,
bugs bunny choked to death
on his own carrot, ironically
given to him by his
best friend Michael Jordan. Michael
hated people who liked to
ignore his perfectly sexist posts
directed towards hens, which are
can fly thanks to Nike
the mighty God of shoes
and ticks. Suddenly, Mr Bean
and Teddy burst into the

cillit bang remix and yelled
"I think Mr Muscle is
going over the edge in
a claustrophobically mega dance with
Sherlock Holmes in drag, strangely
licking a kangaroo that tasted
of burnt toast, elderberries and
Grandma's special Goatmilk cake
- free with ever pack of
Cuban cigars, which are illegal
in Cuba because of the
chocolate chip cookie sales overseen
by the BBC America channel
which is sponsored by McDonald's
farm in Edinburg. Calcified fish
are swimming around Manhattan singing
"always look on the bright
people with disdain" tunelessly, much
more people now have twenty
cauliflowers stuck between their toes
and inside their ducks brain.
"Moo" said the duck which
confused several people who thought
ducks went 'baa', silly people.
Dolphins then took over the

chocolate factory in west Essex
and turned it into a
giant razor killer bee factory
in which a great fire
fighter called Bob ran twenty
cows off a cliff, sending
the beef market into collapse.
Bob was sent to prison
for "Grand, Grand, Grand, Grand
attempting to slap someone". With
Bob behind bars, his brother
Harvey the hated licked out
of his ice prison, and
used WMD's on his cell.
Three people were wounded and
one caught pneumonia with serious
sam shooting at him along
with Ronald McDonald the Terrible.
Ronald was a convicted serial
veal smuggler, and as such
horrendous accusations flooded McDonalds, closure
ensued, meaning all hobos starved.
The Hobo Relief Fund was
shooting hobo's for sport, Dingo's..."
Before Bean and Teddy finished,

a three-wheeled car entered the
house of Mr.Bean and he
immediately started yelling at hobos
"Don't get jobs! They'll corrupt
Other Teddies!" But police came
and forced them to work.
So Robin and his reliant
servant Little John came to
their rescue by blowing up
a library with a teddy
bear, sent by Jack Bauer
to secretary of defence James
Bond, who shook it thoroughly.
The hobos, fearing mass employment,
all migrated to Antarctica, where
they found work at a
factory producing shoes without laces
and laces without shoes. However,
they never thought about combining
to Toys R Us, believing
Toys would pay them so
often as to destroy the
beer bottle and peace signs
that they waved at cars
driving with only 1 wheel

on his head, smashing his
bindle on a stick violently.
Penguins then attacked the hobos
but the riot police intervened
and were beaten back by
chipmunks with nuts and super
mega awesome martial arts skills.
Chuck Norris lead his soldiers
against them, but seagulls came
and bombed sticky and white
napalm bombs at Chuck Norris
so he was unable to
perform his famous tornado kick.
"I've been defeated!" He cried
out to 630 Nigerian electronic
toasters. "I will now go
to toaster heaven, toasting toast
without bread but instead with
human hair and lie in
bed thinking of green gnomes
and all kinds of gnomish
thoughts. I am like 535,454,000,465,404,409,320
sardines..." at that instant, whales
in Wales started wailing because
they had demanded a synonym

symbolizing Progressive metal. Queensryche was
the retired gardeners capital of
Flowerland, but lawnmowers invaded and
stole the vital ingredient to
flower. Then, Chris DeGamo invaded
and displaced gardners with shrimps.
Which brings us back to
WWX: Mankind VS Everything Else
that doesn't have two legs
or is a hobo. This
is getting extremely boring, so
let´s do 50 more pages
full of pure nectar and
loafs of bread. This was
just some random 5 words
like chicken, feathers, books and
war criminals. Speaking of which,
we have no common motive!
Therefore, the end is nigh ¨
in the schitzophrenic world of
noodle throwing competitions run by
the cat in the hat.
Suddenly, a naturist jumped out
at a really rugged nudist,

and called him nasty names
for which he was harangued
by Illyrian soapmakers infuriated by
Chistian priests and their sermons
regarding Belzebub´s latest toothbrush, containing
all the nasty things in
the last supper, including several
hundred tarantulas which tasted like
Saint Petrus toes embalmed in
porridge. We now turn to
the west because there's a
great barbarian warrior with an
axe. This is unsuprising, because
axes have become very popular
among the barbarian tribes in
Guiana because they look cool
when mounted on a cadillac.
So the story goes that
an enormous table that covered
nearly nothing at all managed
a small farm in Dorset
by transfusioning with Chuck Norris
and kiling him simultaneously. Actually,
this story was a B-movie
rated by God himself. Demons

om the game Diablo 2
are very grey sometimes, to
kill them you must throw
holy hand grenades made in
China. However not all demons
are soft and cuddly, some
are actually deadly cute, leading
hours of fun and games.
The skeletons on the other
hand had a strange fetish
from the uninhabited island of
Britain, for rage infected zombies.
The funny thing is that
they never made a movie
because the directors can't agree
on their costume colour. So,
the creatures of hell decided
they all liked cyan, the
colour of love and purity
but satan said no: " I
shall want pink that resembles
the colour of my pants.
And so the devils set
was created upon the day
when free drinks were given

on the pacific ocean bottom
near a small sand party
of water resistant demons who
were battling flying starfish. The
First Lord of the Treasury
AKA the lord of darkness,
was planning a teddy bear's
retreat from unicorns. His plan
was to create a diversion
called Doris, who danced atop
a stool, a jig called
Mary Tyler Moore. Doris saw
an image of Dilbert, floating
in space, right over the
band Slipknot, who were playing
with themselves. But demons came
naught from Coventry, but rather
from Dark hole, Arizona. These
demons proceeded to round up
all the hobos and eat
them raw without cooking. Then
Archangel Michael decied the demons

were an inspiration for a new
sort of forum game called
this game is still going?
The rules go something like
post like there's no tomorrow
and eat potatoes in moderation
and so we all did
get severe digesting problems because
potatoes are the devils diabolical
hand grenades diguised as food,
which explains the white outgrowths
on my foot by the
side of mount everest which
is rather transparent, come to
my shop, I sell beans
for less than Ms.Guttombag across
the English channel, said Leviticus.
While watching a movie ("The
Cord of the Kings: The
cowabunga shouting hypocratical alcohol addicted
president of the united place
of '' I have a severe
headache and annoying bunions") ran
a potato shop that also
sold leprechauns. Welsh congestion in

Wales is quite common, since
many welsh people live there.
But Antartica has none, since
penguins don't like visitors in
their native land of Narnia,
the prohibited lands of the
lion and the weird closet.
These days you can find
those closets at Walmart for
less than a dime but
they also sell couches for
very rich foreign businessmen interested
in luxurious leather dog toys
that only the brainless plays.
This created a great opportunity
for the wombat to buy
a pair of red hotpants
littered with stampmarks and fully
expandable in weathers of really
disgusting countries, which cannot be
described as it is too
late now to sing aloud
the theme of schnappi, our
only way of describing weather.
One poster cried after seeing

the death of forum games,
then they came back alive!
Hoooorayy!!!! I shouted out with
my little sister. Unfortunately, a
hippie stopped all this, quickly.
But eagles came and supported
the second Reich, allowing massive
corpses to rise from the
Red Sea. Unfortunately the hippie
potamus was so fat that
cars came alive, fashion in
Russia was no longer fashion
in France. A dragon called
Dunga-Ding loved Bob Dylan songs
because it was utterly stupid
not to love them, since
they are loveably terrible. Therefore,
the Death Eaters arrived and
sang "Tangled up in blue"
whilst dancing a fast tango
with Scythe blade in hand,
meanwhile, in another part of

a flugel, horn was mangled,
creating a massive whirlpool in
Washington that halted global warming.
Or no, it actualy didn't.
Because global warming may or
may not hide under a
carpet in the house of
pain, run by the evil
servants of Kami's archnemisis Imak.
Then again, bread prices dropped.
Now hobos could finally eat
cats and dogs because that
changed time, the Dunga-Dingi I
killed tasted horrible. I'd rather
tired myself out with all
the potato throwing champions with
sticks. Fuel prices highered today
meaning we are further from
my-finger-violently-bleeding now.
This is because I cut
the sack of poppy seed
with my bare finger nails
and a ten inch razorblade
a.k.a. "the big dino claw"
that froze up inside, resulting

in three missing fingers and
two extra toes on my
forehead, which doctors say are
quite clearly funny-looking, yet somehow
a medical miracle. So they
made toy guns that sparked
tritium deuterium hypervelocity plasma pills,
which destroys all limbs in
the majority of cat's faces.
Meanwhile, dogs cried foul play
because of an offside goal
made by a gargling rat
which tripped on a rock
made out of silver and
uranium which had been batman's
best friend since June 1991,
when Robin was killed in
the toilet with his head
stuck inside of a plunger.
There were nine suspects, but
five of them were ducks.
Interestingly, police accused the ducks
of not helping an old
trilobite stuck in a cactus
costume. The other four suspects

escaped using a toothpick from
the nether realm of the
god Imbacilus RTW playurus Invictus
Franticus Corpus Haboeoluem Asina, only
the toothpick broke, so they
made a new one, which
exploded, killing everyone near it.
Now, it´s not my place
to say "that's stupid," but
I say "that is stupid"
because it truely is. However,
if anyone is angered by
this, they can blame XXXXXXXXXX
because she is really mean.
But it gets worse: she
absolutely hates Total War series
since it lacks any bugs.
Just kidding. She actually hates
only STW, MTW, RTW, M2TW
and Spartan total warrior, the
game she ate the most.
Did I just say "ate"?
Oh yes she did. Boiled
in pigs blood, its not
recommended by doctors though. So

don´t tell your doctor about
the irregular menstrual cycles you're
watching some strange animal having
in some abandoned cave, where
I am silently stalking you.
Some day I will find
out your darkest secrets and
ask: "Who exactly is "you"?"
"Bond, James Bond" will be
the name of my friend
the ant stalker. "You" is
actually an abbreviation for YUKU
Owns the Underworld. This severely
distrupted the animals menstrual cycle
which alibaba300lb for some reason
had given Bandman as a
bicycle. This year's annual meeting
was the first such meeting
to happen while wearing speedos
like hats. Nike therefore sued
Appo for having a strange
but beautiful body, something everyone
denied, except Appo himself. Therefore
getting sent to Arkam asylum
meant you have AIDS, which

[edit: Did I fix it? that took more than one whole minute! -Haggard]